Three kids is really hard. Someone always needs your time and attention... ALWAYS. As I write this I can hear Miles stirring from his crib and Claire has interrupted me 4 times in that last 2 sentences. There seems to be no time left for me or my relationship with my husband. I don't feel like I can balance it all. The demands of breastfeeding, playing with and disciplining a 9 and 4 year old. Dinner making. House cleaning. Trips to the doc and dentist. Puzzle putting together. At the end of the day, some days, I just want to cry. Then I feel guilty for not being blissfully happy 100% of the time.
Where did all this pressure come from? It feels like I'm being pulled in a thousand different directions and all I want to do is get some rest. Sleep all day. Go 5 hours without someone needing something from me. I want to be selfish. Yes yes I know... I had 3 kids. What did I expect?
My point is ... my children and my life are wonderful but I still feel the way I described above. Honesty people! Parenting, working, life in general is not a bed of roses. Its hard. Sometimes you want to walk away, straight down 64 all the way to California.
Right now Claire is singing "Rudolph the red nosed reindeer" in her most high pitched singing voice and while it's music to my ears, don't judge me because at times I'd rather be listening to the new Jack White album.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
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